Ok where to start?
It was January 30, 2004 my due date. My DH had left for work and I had just gotten out of the bath. I dried off and got a chucks pad to sit on the couch with because we have a cat and I didn't want hair sticking to my butt hahaha. I turned on the TV. Trying to stop worrying and wondering when I would go into labor, which I had on my mind a lot lately, in fact I was going nuts wanting that baby out of me. Soon I found Good Will Hunting to watch and forgot about the upcoming birth at least for a little while. At the very end of the movie as the credits started to roll at 12:00 am I felt a little pop and then WOOOSH tons of fluid started to gush out of me. Lucky for me I'm on a pad I thought to my self, hahaha there was so much fluid it pooled up between my legs. It seemed like a full 3 gallons, it was yellow with lots of white specks of vernix in it.
Soon I began wondering how I would get up without getting it all over the floor. We had just put in brand new carpeting and I really didn't want a huge stain on it. Oh well I can't just sit here all night I thought after a few (ok 10) minutes and got up, soaking the floor and couch. I found a towel to try to clean up with, and then it hit me my water broke I am going to have this baby tonight and began to tremble with excitement and kept saying the words OMG OMG OMG OMG over and over again!!!
So I called my DH at work to tell him what happened, he asked if he should call someone to cover for him and come home. I told him no, that it might be a while before anything happens and that I hadn't had any contractions yet but would call him if anything changed. In fact I wanted to be alone as much as possible to concentrate on ME and be in touch with my body. Not long after my call I felt tightness in my lower belly, ok here we go I thought.
I started to prepare for the many hours of hard work ahead of me, first I went looking for our camcorder and found it about 30 minutes later in the very back of our closet underneath a ton of stuff. I began to set it up on the tripod and plug all the wires in. By now (12:30ish) the contractions were getting very strong, I even dropped the camera and broke the video cover off. But I did manage to get it up and recording the spot I planed to birth at. Along with all the other stuff, like tons of chucks pads on the bed and floor, the snot sucker thingy (bulb aspirator, in case the baby needed its mouth sucked clean), cord clamps and scissors.
Man these contractions are getting strong fast. The only place I was comfortable was standing up rocking back and forth at my bed. (I had a very tall 4 poster bed) so I kept trying to get all the other things I wanted together, and when ever I felt a contraction coming I would rush back to my bed to rock or baby dance’. At 2:00 am I called DH and told him how I was doing, things are fine but going faster than expected and he might want to call the guy to cover him now.. They were hurting bad, much harder than my first birth. So I drew a bath hoping the water would take the edge off. I got in and was so disappointed that wasn't helping in fact it was worse because I could not rock with them. So I got back out and stayed by the bed.
DH called a little before 4:00am and I told him to get home, like NOW. He said he would be there as soon as possible but had to wait for the person covering for him to get there. By now the contractions were so intense I couldn't see straight, I didn't know what to do, I felt lost. Everything was so intense and I was the only one there to help myself. I wanted to lie down and rest but I had to get up as soon as another contraction started. They were coming fast by then, about every one and a half minutes. I just couldn't take them laying down :P
Then something changed it felt different, a very, very hard and intense contraction that floored me came. It felt like gravity became ten times stronger, it pulled me down and I couldn't have stood back up if my life depended on it. A million thoughts were going through my head all at once. What do I do? Do I want to push? Is it to early? Can I really do this? Where is DH? This is to soon I can't be this close. I was at a loss for what to do, am I starting to push? No I can't be it's too soon I thought and tried not to push. I was fighting it.
I wanted to check my dilation to be sure there was no lip to get in the way. I still didn't trust my body to take care of its self and know what to do. So I reached down (I was on hands and knees) and felt something mushy RIGHT there waiting to come out, WHAT IS THAT I thought!? My first baby's head felt hard and slick, this was wrinkled and mushy, is the baby breech I wondered, I honestly thought it was his family jewels. That he somehow was coming out nuts first! I felt that I could not do it any more it hurt so so so much. But then something primal took over my body. The animal hiding deep inside me came out with shocking force. All the sudden I knew what to do, I knew everything was fine. I hate to use the word but I felt supernatural.
So I gave a mighty push, the baby came down and was fully crowning. Another push, the head was out. I felt down to check for a cord around the neck and there was one but it was too tight and I couldn't get it over his head. I panted until the next contraction came and pushed one more time although I couldn't imagine how I could stretch open any more, as his shoulders came out I pulled him up to me and then there it was A BOY, my first son!!!!!!!
I was shocked, I just knew it was going to be a girl. He lay there very still; I unlooped the cord from his neck and began to rub him. I could see him moving his chest like he wanted to breathe and he had very good color but I wanted to hear him cry. The animal in me wanted to hear him cry even though I knew that he was fine with the cord still pulsing. I kept rubbing and picked him up and rubbed some more, I talked to him. "Breathe baby, breathe for me sweetie, come on darling" Still nothing, I felt panicky about him still not taking a breath. So I held him against my bare chest and with 2 fingers POP, yes I popped (smacked!) my newborn baby's bottom and heard the sweetest sound in the world. A cry, and then I cried too.
I was sad that DH missed the birth but in a way I am thankful I was alone. If anyone had been there instead of looking within myself for what to do and for comfort I would have looked to whoever was there and in doing so I would have missed out on finding that...that something I had found. Something I didn't know was in me. Forever I will know I have that something I found that night and I really can do ANYTHING myself if needed. I can say I will forever trust myself now.
Then I decided to call DH and tell him the good news, but I couldn't reach the phone. It was on the bed and I was on the floor, there was no way I was going to try and get up yet. I was week and felt very shaky. So I pulled the top sheet down and the phone fell with it. I called him, not an easy thing when your hands are so shaky, and calmly said to him, your son is here..... WHAT? He yelled. I had the baby you have a son, I said again. He started yelling I have a son, I have a son!’ to all the people in the store. He asked if I was ok and I told him I was and everything was fine and he would be home asap.
So we hung up and I some how got up on the bed to rest a little and nurse my new miracle, soon the cord stopped pulsing so I clamped and cut it. Now all I wanted was to get the placenta out but it wasn't going any where. Then DH got home about 20 minutes after our chat. I gave him our son to hold for the first time and he began to cry with joy. It was the most touching thing I have ever seen. Then I got back off the bed to push the placenta out. It came out whole and without any trouble.
Just then DH realized we didn't know what time he was born so we guessed about 4:40 am. Then DH weighed him and said he was 10 pounds, no way you've got to be kidding I told him. But he wasn't, that boy weighed a full 10 pounds even, we checked 3 times. He was 20 inches long and had a 14 and half inch head. After that we called family to share the good news and got to know our new little bundle of joy!
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