I have been having nightmares about childbirth since I was fourteen, and my first pregnancy has been a great challenge for me emotionally. From the first joyous moments when Merlin and I discovered that we were having a baby, I started searching for any weapons I could to fight the fear I was feeling inside, and which would rise to the surface occasionally, marring my euphoria.
The first step towards calming my nerves was to gather information - Carol's NCT classes were excellent and it was a relief to me to feel fully informed and to meet other pregnant couples for the first time. I left the classes feeling empowered, and with confidence in our abilities to cope with the birth of our baby, not to mention our baby's ability to be born easily and naturally! I hungrily read books by Sheila Kitzinger and Janet Balaskas, kept fit, had osteopathy regularly (wonderful), enjoyed Yoga, visited a Hypnotherapist, bought essential oils and homeopathic products for labour. In short, I tried everything I could to be as prepared as possible.
The second step was to decide where to have the baby, and my reluctance to spend any time in hospital made the decision quite easy! I still cannot understand those who tell me I am 'very brave' to be having a home birth, but then I had done my research thoroughly and was supported in every respect by the midwives who encouraged me to stick with the decision while discussing with me the reasons for a transfer to hospital. Incidentally, about one in four home deliveries transfer to hospital in my region so the statistics were on my side, but I looked around Southmead and packed a hospital bag in case of complications.
Eventually my due date loomed and I did extra Yoga and positive thinking to avoid induction. A daring and wobbly cycle ride to my local Bumps and Babes seemed to finally get things going - I had back ache and a tummy upset the following day - and I felt my first contraction within minutes of my due date (Sunday)! I lay in bed wondering how to break the news to Merlin without sounding corny, but didn't receive any inspiration and came out with a classic 'I think the baby's coming'. Within hours the contractions were every 7 minutes and we called the midwife who said I sounded 'far to cheerful' and to take some paracetamol and try to eat and sleep a lot. Looking back, this was great advice but impossible to put in to practice - sleep? Impossible.
Most of Sunday was spent wandering about the house with my TENS machine on, feeling quite proud that I had such a high pain threshold (must be the hypnosis) but wondering why the midwives were being so very laid back! In the afternoon it all became clear, the contractions stopped and I had been in pre-labour. I was also tired, disappointed and fed up of having my shiatsu points rubbed. We had some Crispy Aromatic Duck and went to bed, having phoned the relatives back to say that there had been a delay, they were not grandparents yet and may not be for some days.
In the early hours of Monday morning I noticed contractions every half an hour, and took some homeopathy to keep things going. They did feel more effective, and I concentrated on positive thinking and keeping upright. We prepared some ground sheets and towels (how messy IS it?) and I spent the day walking and walking and walking. Oddly, I had a terrific ache in by hips and back throughout the first stage which took me by surprise rather. At about 4.00 pm Katherine decided that things were hotting up and that she would stay with us - I was examined (and, I fancy, my cervix was given an encouraging prod) and declared to be 2-3 cm. I was really disappointed - in spite of all my reading, I couldn't believe that all that work (I strode about between as well as during contractions) had been for so little and that dilation took so long!
By 8.00 pm I was worn out and felt that I really couldn't go on and needed just a bit of pethadine so that I could rest… hospital was fine… I just wanted to lie down… thankfully my birth plan had it clearly in black and white that I was staying at home, and once I was told that I was doing really well and that I could cope I was fine again. It was a crisis of confidence, brought about in part by my slow dilation and also my disappointment when I tried the gas and air (which I had been saving) and hated it. My breathing was my focus throughout labour and the Entonox ruined the rhythm.
Just before midnight Mary, the new midwife, came in to the bedroom to have a chat about breaking my waters if appropriate at my next examination. My blood pressure, the baby's heart beat and the position of the baby had been consistently good throughout (I had no idea they fill in little graphs as things progress), but as she said, not having them ruptured was 'delaying the inevitable'. On reflection the timing was excellent - my fear of transition and of pushing the baby out was slowing everything down, and once my waters broke my labour changed completely.
I started to roar like a dinosaur with each contraction, and not because they hurt (they were better than the constant aching which I had felt previously) but because I wanted to with all of my body. I had a good artillery of chants and noises to make which I had learned in Yoga and thought I would never use! It was fantastic, and so noisy that I went about shutting the windows in case the neighbours complained. I would lean on Merlin and try hard not to bite him, and within what seemed like minutes I could feel myself wanting to push. I know that Mary would pick up on this although she was sitting calmly in the armchair in the living room as usual, and after a quick check to confirm that I was fully dilated I fell on to my knees and did what came naturally.
At this point Mary had told me that she would call Katherine when the baby was about to arrive so that there would be two midwives. Of course, every moment that she didn't call seemed like eternity! I hung on to Merlin with my arms around his neck and breathed and pushed for all I was worth. I pushed whether I had a contraction or not (I couldn't tell, anyway) and inwardly praised my Yoga teacher, Christine, for my huge lung capacity and Corinne, my osteopath, for a flexible and free-moving pelvis. I also glugged too much water and had a choking fit which was quite odd since I had a baby halfway down my birth canal!
Suddenly Katherine walked in (hurrah) and I was still having a great time pushing, especially as I could feel the baby move every time. It didn't hurt! I reached down to feel what was going on and was guided towards my baby's nose, which I probably squashed in the excitement.
Note from Angela: It sounds like Noah may have been born face-first, rather than his occiput (crown of head) coming first. I have emailed Mitch to ask if this was the case. You would not normally be able to feel a baby's nose with your finger while it was in the birth canal - just the top of the head, which feels surprisingly squashy as it is being moulded while it descends. This could account for Mitch's stop-start prelabour and relatively long second stage, as if a baby is presenting face-first it may not exert enough pressure on the cervix to stimulate contractions well, and second stage can be tough as the diameters of the head which have to pass through the pelvis are significantly larger than if the baby is occiput-anterior, chin nicely tucked in and facing the mother's back.
Back to Mitch...
At some point I did some panting and then I was being told to look down, but I had got stuck with my arms about Merlin and moving just didn't seem possible. I was hauled backwards against the settee and there was our baby, grey and perfect and in my arms, looking about calmly.
Everyone forgot to see whether it was a boy or a girl, and Merlin's voice as he announced that we had a baby boy was so proud. We just gazed and gazed at our son, Noah, and I barely noticed as Merlin cut the cord or even as the placenta was delivered (complete with an occiput lobe, very unusual).
To my surprise I did need a few stitches which was painless and straightforward, and then the shock caught up with me and Noah was handed to Merlin for a cuddle while I sat on the settee, shaking and with double vision. Mary led me to the bathroom for a lovely warm bath and then we were left together, the three of us, with barely a sign of the momentous event which had occurred in the living room at 2.33 am on Tuesday 21st August.
I am so very thankful to Merlin, the NCT, my teachers mentioned above and the midwives for helping me through the biggest challenge of my life. Noah was born in to a calm environment and there was no trauma or stress at all, and he is a calm and beautiful baby. I am so pleased that I could choose where to have my baby, and that I could easily get the information and help I needed to have the birth that I hoped for. The NCT has been a great support, and still is now that I am breastfeeding and joining in my local Open House group.
Mitch
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