I had my first baby, Maia, in North London last year. I had a dream pregnancy, worked up until the day I was due, and planned to have a home birth, and then breastfeed. Instead I had a 44 hour labour, a hospital transfer as my waters had been broken "too long", an epidural, ventouse, double episiotomy, and agony at every feed including five bouts of feverish mastitis, four days in hospital on IV antibiotics and permenantly scarred nipples - resulting in a formula-fed baby. I saw eight different midwives, two health visitors and three breastfeeding counsellors from the time my waters broke to the time five weeks later when I went into A&E with a temperature of 104 and green breastmilk. They all tried their best, but it was a different person I didn't know every time.
Four months later I got pregnant again.
This time round I *really* wanted to have a home birth, and then breastfeed.
I did a lot of research on the internet, and decided an independent midwife was the way to go. Independent midwives are fully qualified and regulated midwives, but they are self-employed and offer indepth one-to-one care throughout pregnancy, birth and the early postnatal period. They typically attend home births but can also attend a hospital birth as a supporter (although generally they can't then act as your offical midwife). They are different to a doula, who is just a birth supporter, so an "add-on" to NHS care - an independent midwife largely replaces the NHS service (although you are still entitled to any NHS care you require, such as scans). I really wanted one person throughout who I knew and trusted, who knew me and the things I was particularly worried about, and who wasn't tied to hospital policy so I could really make the decisions that were right for me. I also knew we were going to be moving to Newport late in the pregnancy, so I was worried about time pressure arranging a home birth.
Before I moved I used the independent midwifery site to find a midwife who covered Newport, and came up with Olivia. I called her to explain about the move and arranged to meet her when I was in the area looking around - from the first call I felt loads more confident about the birth, and after meeting Olivia I was sure this was right for me - we had the same views on birth and she just felt like a comforting, friendly person to have around in a vulnerable moment - and younger than I was expecting!
Because I was 33 weeks pregnant when we moved up, Olivia had an antenatal appointment with me every week. I say antenatal, it was generally more of a chat with a little medical bit - we went out for lunch, we met up with some of her other clients, we played with Maia, and occasionally I peed on a stick and got to listen to my baby's heartbeat. The community midwife also came round to meet me and let me know I could call on them for any support if I needed to - if you employ an independent midwife, you're still entitled to all the same NHS care, although generally you won't need it. I was booked into Shrewsbury hospital in case I needed a transfer ("not that you will").
As my due date approached, I bought a birth pool, listened to my home birth hypnotherapy CD, and finished up my 'birth is empowering and doesn't really hurt' books. By a week after I was starting to worry about induction after all - although I was committed to letting things happen as naturally as possible, I also didn't really want to go more than about 2 weeks over - should I have a sweep or just hold my nerve? In the end I decided I'd have a sweep at 10 days over (about the time induction generally gets pushed on the NHS).
At 8 days over my husband made his spicy chicken dinner for us, and I was feeling enough twinges that I got him to sleep on the side with the (other) baby that night. I woke about 1:30am with fairly strong Braxton-Hicks like contractions. I tried to get back to sleep but about 4am, I gave up and came downstairs to lay out the birth pool. Moving around seemed to make the contractions get a bit stronger and more regular, until they were about every 3mins, lasting 45 seconds or so. I still wasn't convinced it meant much though, but just in case, about 5am I called Olivia out (she had an hour's drive), got my husband up to inflate the birth pool, and put my TENS on. At 5:30am Maia woke up and pottered around "helping" Piers and looking concerned at me breathing through contractions - I just sat on the sofa resting between contractions (and timing them on an internet site), and TENS boosting through them.
By 6:30am Olivia arrived and contractions were lasting 45-60seconds, coming every 2-2.5mins. They were quite achey by this time but I still wasn't sure that much was happening - Piers wasn't convinced about starting to fill the pool because after 24 hours we'd have to empty it and replace the liner and we didn't have a spare, but I got him to start filling it really hot anyway, so it'd stay warm and we could just add cold later. And I had a banana, toast and smoothie for breakfast.
About 7am Piers got Maia back to sleep and kept on filling the pool. About 7:30am he told me it'd take another hour to fill properly. By then the contractions were coming very close together and I was getting mini-urges to push and the TENS was staying on boost throughout. Although I *still* wasn't completely convinced it wasn't going to take another day or so I really wanted to get in the pool, so Piers started adding cold and I got in about 7:45am.
As soon as I got in the pool it eased up for a few contractions which was lovely, and then came back as pushing contractions. I was pushing on my hands and knees, then leaning against the side of the pool. I turned out to be quite noisy which I didn't expect as I was quite quiet for the earlier contractions, but amazingly Maia slept through it all. It later turned out the neighbours hadn't heard anything either, although at the time I didn't really care! About 8:20 Maia was stirring a bit so Piers was out in the hallway when Olivia told him the baby would be born soon. He very casually wandered in - turned out he thought "soon" meant an hour or so not a push or so!
After a final series of pushes Rosie was born at 8:26am - Olivia pushed her back through my legs for me to bring out of the water and check what sex she was.
About 8:30am Maia woke up and Piers brought her in looking quite bemused at the whole thing.
We stayed in the pool with the cord attached until the placenta came out while Rosie was feeding. Then I cut the cord, and stayed in until Rosie had finished feeding - it was probably 9:45am or so by the time we got out. I had a small tear that didn't need stitching and I basically felt fine almost straight away - certainly 1000% better than after Maia!
I had a bit of a cuddle with both of them, Olivia cleared up a bit then left about 10:30am, then by 11am Maia had had a bit of a cuddle, and Rosie and I were tucked up in bed for a bit of a snooze while Piers sorted out the birth pool with Maia in a sling on his back. By 3pm it was as if nothing had happened - well apart from the baby!
All in all it worked out about as well as it could have done - no drugs, no serious damage and not too long. I must admit though, it did still hurt - not too much, but if that stork thing was really an option, I think I'd be going for it. Since it's not, that was definitely the best alternative, for me, and by the looks of it for Rosie - the first time she cried was when the community midwife came round to do her nursery exam the next afternoon.
Of course after the birth was the bit I was really scared about after last time - breastfeeding. I went for lots of skin to skin and very frequent feeding, and Olivia came every day for the first week, then every couple of days until she was sure everything was OK. It wasn't completely smooth sailing - I had a couple of blisters, pretty sore feeds for the first week or two, and the beginnings of mastitis a couple of times - but this time I had someone on hand as soon as anything went wrong for support, encouragement and the odd cabbage leaf! Four months later Rosie is an exclusively breastfed babe, and definitely thriving on it - she's twice the size Maia was at the same age.
Olivia kept coming to see us until Rosie was 8 weeks old, and we're still in touch now - I've gained a friend as well as a baby! I've also gained a lot of confidence in myself and my body when it comes to birthing a baby - little things like not having exams to see how far I was dilating meant that I just had to listen to my body and made it feel like a much more natural process. Olivia was there if I needed her but apart from offering me food didn't direct me at all - I have a vague memory of her attaching a sonicaid to my tummy while I was in the pool but at the time it felt like I was doing it all by myself - in a good way!
Katie.
Siblings at a home birth - what to do with your older children? Should they be present?
Fast Labours - is quicker always better? What do you do if your baby is arriving faster than your midwife?
Pain relief - what are your options at home?
Independent Midwives - what they do, and where to find one.
Overdue - but still want a homebirth? When is 'postdates' risky?
The Third Stage of Labour - what are your options, and the pros and cons of each?
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