A Father's View:

Kira's Homebirth

When Pam told me it was going to be a home birth I naturally had reservations about mother and child's health, and about what sort of state the house was going to be in. I had only just fitted a new carpet so I wasn't overjoyed at the thought of her water breaking all over the light cream carpet and blood in the bed.

After 8 and a half weeks of putting up with the mood swings and the nagging of "you don't care" something strange happened.I started to care... hmmm. It started with my hating being at work because I was away from Pam and at its worst found that when ever Pam had pains I began to get stomach ache. I'm not for one second going to admit that I was having sympathy pains, but I was happier working because the ache stopped as soon as I got to work.

On the 11/11/99 Pam phoned me at work. Knowing that she was 3-4 days past due I became very calm and relaxed (mental shut-down). Pam told me that today was the day, so I might want to come home.

The midwife came and started Pam off by breaking the water. At this point I was planning on a 1-2hr wait before it was all over... hmmm maybe if I would have read a bit more I might have thought differently.

It seemed like hours passed before the midwife decided to pop out to see the other midwife who would be assisting when the time came ..if I had known that she was only about a mile away I wouldn't have started to get a bit edgy when Pam went from a boring twinge every 5 mins to real pain every 1 mins, so I wimped out and paged the midwife.

It was about this time I suddenly started to enjoy the experience and the freedom of a home birth. Instead of just being a onlooker I could do whatever I liked, and more importantly so could Pam.

For a long while in between cigarette breaks Pam lay in my lap while she passed through each contraction. After giving up with the gas and air and advancing to Pethidine (Demerol) she seemed almost comfortable with the whole thing, which made me feel right at home.

Pam advanced with the midwives checking her every five minutes until it started to get closer, then she started to get jumpy about the idea that she may pass water or worse while her hubby watched on, so off she went with the midwife to try the toilet again.

For some reason the position of the toilet helped with speeding up the contractions so it was like a game of musical chairs going from bedroom to toilet with a midwife in tow..

I spent this time sitting on the bed talking with the mother in law and the other midwife who seemed very relaxed just sitting on the floor talking about some of her funny cases .I guess by her relaxed posture I felt happier knowing that pam was doing fine with out me having to ask.

The midwife with Pam called her counterpart and it seemed that now was the time. After a bit of humming and harring it was decided that it was best to get back to the bedroom.

Pam lay on her side and decided that she was comfortable so the mid wives had to hold her leg up while they worked with very little fuss and lots of encouragement.

Pam's midwife noticed early on that that the cord wasn't in the correct place. As a first-aider it didn't panic me to know that the cord was wrong, but at the time I decided it was best to stay calm and lie about what the midwives were about to do. Pam sensed something wasn't right maybe by the look on her mother-in-law's face, but by the time she had realized the cord had already been cut..

At this point I would really like to thank the midwives. Pam's main midwife had managed to get Pam to reduce her pushing as the head began to clear and with in 15 seconds had with help from the second midwife clamped the cord and cut it. It only took one more big push and Kira was here..

After the birth it was about 5-10 minutes before Pam passed the afterbirth. Most of my friends found the sight of this sickly but it didn't faze me a bit and I was quite happy to assist in cleaning up after they had checked to make sure it was all there....

15 mins after, mum's on the bed with baby at nipple, the house is clean with no damage and I'm making tea for the midwives..

30 mins later I'm looking after my daughter with the midwives' help, and Pam's sneaked off for a crafty cigarette like nothing had just happened...

Well that's how I thought it happened I guess I will have to read what Pam wrote to see her point of view of what happened (smile)

Glenn Beck

An Englishman is a king in his own castle But nothing more than a nuisance in hospital

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