Clare with Dominic and Phoebe
Clare with Dominic and Phoebe
The birth of my first child, Dominic was at 37 weeks and took me completely by surprise, so I was determined to be ready this time! I was hoping for a home birth, and luckily everything fell into place...
My waters broke on Thursday 1st March ( 37 weeks and 1 day ) around 8am. It was cold dull and grey outside. Last time my contractions started soon after my waters went, but this time, nothing. The whole day passed by, slowly as it always does when you're waiting for something to happen. Not much leakage of waters and still not a contraction in sight. I stayed on the move all day in the hope that it would get things started. I tried a trip to Safeway's, various yoga positions, and Dominic and I composed a chant to stomp around the house to; "Come on baby, hurry, hurry, come on out of mummy's tummy".
I emailed the homebirth email group, which I'd joined just a week previously, asking for suggestions. I got all the usuals; sex, curry, cod-liver oil,...
I spoke to the duty midwife who muttered something about needing to go to the hospital for observation if nothing had happened by 8am so I had strong words with my bump, and went for the most palatable of the self-help options! At 4.30am I got my first contraction. Much to my surprise I felt excited. I contracted on the quiet for about an hour then George woke up and it felt like things were starting to happen. I'm not usually awake to see dawn - maybe it's always that beautiful, but with 4" of snow on the ground, bathed in morning light, it was amazing.
Dominic woke at 7 and we told him baby was on the way. He immediately put his head up my dressing gown to see if he could see baby's head! George was keen to call the midwife, but I knew they changed shifts at 8am and as I seemed to be coping fine, suggested we wait till then rather than call out someone who'd been up all night. We also took the decision not to take Dominic to nursery that morning; George was worried about leaving me on my own if he got stuck in the snow, although my next-door neighbour used to be a midwife, so if things had really hotted up I knew I could call on her.
We put the call in at 8am to find it was the same midwife as the night before, Rosie, who I'd never met but had spoken to, and she'd told me she loved doing home deliveries. She was quite disappointed I hadn't called her out overnight, and as she'd had a quiet night wondered if I minded if she came and brought a mature student, Annette, with her. Relieved to know it was someone pro-home birth (although to be fair, in my second pregnancy I didn't encounter any midwife who wasn't), I readily agreed.
Next we had to decide what to do with Dominic. I had quite wanted him to be there for the birth, but resolved to keep an open mind. As it turned out, I was glad he wasn't because I was able to go with the pain rather than worry about how he might react to the whole thing. We phoned a neighbour Alison who was on "standby", to discover the village was snowbound and the school bus couldn't get through, so she'd kept her 3 boys at home. George said he'd sledge Dominic down to Alisons when the midwives arrived. Dominic was desperate to go out sledging with the big boys whose house he was going to, and wasn't at all appreciative of the fact that his poor mum didn't really want daddy to disappear just then!
The next 2 hours passed quite quickly. I managed fine with the contractions which were about 4 mins apart, and spent plenty of time fiddling with the *!~^^$ tens machine ( I must be very stupid because I never did get the hang of it properly! ). We kitted Dominic out for snow play, and in between contractions I tidied ( the only evidence of nest building I remember! ), and got the bedroom sorted out. It was strange looking at the empty moses basket thinking very soon a little person would be sleeping in there. I made a few calls to friends and rellies to tell them the event had begun, and began to wonder where the hell the midwives were!
Rosie and Annette finally crunched up the drive at 10.10am. Dominic kissed me goodbye, completely ignorant of the fact that his little life was about to change irrevocably and when he got back things would never be the same again! George disappeared, tugging my little boy behind him, and Rosie set up camp in our bedroom.
When Rosie examined me I was 4 1/2cms dilated. Whether it was the examination or the relief of having the professionals on board I don't know, but very soon after, my contractions intensified and I lost the plot with the TENS machine. We'd been quite good friends till then, but under pressure I kept turning it off instead of down which was very annoying (yeah, I know I should have practised first!). Thankfully George came back at that point. I grabbed hold of his hand and didn't let go of him until it was all over. Rosie kept asking me where I thought I'd like to give birth, but the contractions were so powerful I was barely getting time in between to draw breath, never mind make decisions, and I wasn't about to move anywhere, so they pushed our bed at an angle and covered the floor with our clear plastic goldfish shower curtain! Rosie put a call in to Liz, the other midwife, to ask her to come and join them, and told me to let her know when I wanted to push.
"What, 'Push' push?" I said - the sort you do after 7 hrs of this? Yes, incredibly after just 1 1/2 hrs of "second stage" I was nearly there. Good job really because I didn't feel I was coping particularly well with the pain. The three of them kept telling me I was doing brilliantly, but then they would, wouldn't they!! At one point I wasn't breathing deeply enough and started to get all-over pins and needles and numbness, but a couple of deep breaths did the trick. All the while George was administering homeopathic remedies as and when he thought I needed them, and I disappeared into myself to deal with the contractions.
By this time I was kneeling with my elbows resting on the bed clinging onto George for dear life, thinking how ridiculous I was to think I could do this without pain relief, and then...that wonderful ( ?! ) unmistakable urge to push!
I pushed and then got a few moments with no contractions and noticed Liz the other midwfe had arrived! Said hello then had to push again. I remember making some very animal-like noises, and being very relieved that Dominic wasn't there. A couple more pushes and out came the head, then at 11.45am out slithered the body too! We didn't immediately wonder boy or girl, I think we were just stunned, but then Rosie said "don't you want to know what it is?" The cord was covering the genitals, Rosie moved it and we saw we had a wrinkly red-faced slimy little girl! Just another everyday miracle!
We checked "Snowdrop" over quickly then I climbed into bed, put her to my breast and she suckled straight away. George cut the cord when it stopped pulsating, then phoned his eldest son Elliott with the news. We held each other and gazed at our beautiful little daughter. It was just magical being in our own home, knowing we didn't have to go anywhere, just cuddling taking it all in, looking out at the snow in the garden, unable to quite believe we'd got the daughter we'd hoped for.
I wanted to try for a physiological third stage (ie no syntometrine jab), and had forgotten about delivering the placenta when Rosie suggested about an hour later that we really should do something about it. I'd not had any more contractions to push it out, and really didn't feel I had another push left in me, but I did and, thank God it came out intact. Meanwhile Rosie weighed Snowdrop: 3kgs ( 6lbs 9 1/2 oz ), then Baby suckled while the midwives cleared up and George made us all soup and toast.
We'd just finished lunch when Alison dropped Dominic off en route to her weekend away. We couldn't have timed that better if we'd tried! Dominic was very unimpressed at first look of baby sister, and disappeared downstairs to watch Toy Story 2. A few minutes later he came racing upstairs again - he'd obviously thought about it and decided it wasn't her fault if she was red and wrinkly, he loved her anyway, gave her a very enthusiastic kiss and hasn't stopped kissing her since!
Phoebe Madeline
George, Clare, Dominic and Phoebe
Happy midwives!
After nearly 4 wks of deliberation "Snowdrop" now has a proper name; Phoebe Madeline. The midwives who attended me were fantastic - so professional and seemed to know exactly when to help and when to stand back. I can't thank them enough for what was a magical experience ( and for keeping my perineum intact!! ). I'd recommend home birth to anyone without a history of complications. Both George and I felt relaxed and in control of our environment, and I'm sure this contributed to a troublefree birth and a quick recovery. If you're considering a home birth and would like to talk it through, please feel free to email me on nicholsons@netcom.co.uk.
Clare Nicholson
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