Carrie-Anne planned a home birth for her second baby, but transferred to hospital after 26 hours. She had another attempt at a home birth for her third baby. Just as well really, as he decided to make his appearance a bit faster than his older sister...
At about 12.30am on Thursday, I was really restless and felt really guilty that I hadn't done any studying for 2 weeks (note to self... don't do Open Uni whilst pg!) so grabbed all my books and started my essay. I was feeling really clear headed and managed to rattle off half my essay in about half an hour.... (sign number one!??). At about 2am I got in the pool to watch ER that I had taped and DH jumped in with me. Watched it and swooned at Carter and then dh and I got out and had a big heart to heart about what we were going to do to evict Sonny as I was now 40+6 and I didn't want to end up being induced. Decisions made, I got up to and get water at 3am.
I got as far as just outside the bedroom door and there was a big rush of warm water. I stopped dead and started giggling. Started shouting on dh who ran to me and started laughing. All I could say is 'eh I think thats my waters or maybe I have wet myself'..... it was pretty obvious that it was my waters but I think I went into instant denial! From then on its all went really blurry and dh and I just kept looking at each other blankly!
Ran to the loo and kept thinking that I was going to lose something or that something was falling out.... didn't know what... brain didn't connect to anything. Had a niggling feeling at the back of my head that it was the baby! (sign number 2!)Called my mum who lives over an hour away to say they had broken (she was to drive through to Edinburgh and wait at my granny's in case the kids needed to leave the house at any point) and went to dh who was sat looking really shocked that they had actually broken.
Felt a bit panicky and started getting really confused as to what was going on with everything, very like behaviour in transition but yet again nothing clicked! Dh had to jump out of bed and help me get clean undies etc on as I couldn't get my head together and really had no idea what I was doing. Had a pretty strong contraction and decided to get up and go to the living room. It was about 3.05am. DH put a shower curtain on the floor as I was leaking all over the place (thank goodness he did that! I have a cream carpet!) and I sat down there watching crap TV.
Got the timer out and started trying to time the contrx so that I could call the mw and tell her what was happening. Realised that I couldn't time them as the stopwatch that DS had given me was a pain in the backside and I kept pressing the wrong buttons. What I didn't see at this point was that this was because they only had about 30 secs apart so I was getting confused. (sign number 3!) Tried to get back through to the bedroom and get the TENS machine on (oh how naive!!!).... only to rip it off after one contraction as it was annoying the hell out of me and I needed to sit on the loo.(sign number 4) Actually I didn't just rip it off I threw it at DH calling it 'that stupid ****** thing.'
Waddled back through to the livingroom and dh sat with me trying to get me to look at him in the face. I had been talking the whole pregnancy about how I wanted him to get on my wavelength in labour so he was being pretty focused on what was going on with me and wasn't leaving me alone. I on the other hand was finding it hard to get a whole sentence together, not due to pain but my brain just wouldn't work! I started trying to tell him that I had been looking for songs the day before that were appropriate to birth to and that the only thing I came up with was Johnny Cash 'Ring of Fire'('it burns burns burns .... like a ring of fire!'). We were sat giggling our heads off and cuddling. (From this point please read story with Ring Of Fire in the background).....
At about 3.30 dh called the labour ward to get them to contact the mw on call. I was a bit freaked out as there was a fair bit of pink in my waters and a few clots. I didn't know what was normal, never having broken my waters before, so I wanted to ask her if that was ok. She called back at about 3.40 and said it all sounded fine. It was one the mws who I really liked so I felt instantly better. She said that herself (Sandra) and Ramona were on call and that she would come out and check my waters to put my mind at rest. Whilst I was on the phone I had another contrx and she changed from that to...' we will both be there in 15 mins'(sign number 5!).....
Realised that there was something between my legs and started worrying totally irrationally that it was the cord (with Johnny Cash going through my head still)... it still hadn't registered with me that it was Sonny between my legs! The contrx were coming one after the other and one part of me started thinking that I couldn't go through labour like this... it was all a daft idea, I wanted section, epidural, pethidine... anything that would help, but was breathing through them really well and dh was being brilliant! In fact I was actually feeling very confident that I could cope with them and that the breathing WAS working, I was invincible, here I was with Johnny Cash in labour!!!
I was back in the bedroom as I had water everywhere and was changing my undies again!!!!! I told dh to go back to the livingroom as then he could see the mw from the window . Everytime they have come out they have got lost and I didn't want them to wake up the kids banging on the wrong door of the house. DH left me and I began to really worry about that thing that seemed to want to fall out between my legs.... (sign number 6????) (Ring of Fire continues in my head!)....
Managed to waddle up the hallway again (its 16 metres long and it took me 3 contrx!)as I didn't like being on my own and became obsessed with looking out the window to see if the mw was there. 2 Contrx later I saw her getting out the car and dh went to let her in. I was standing on the middle of the livingroom on the shower curtain and dh was standing in front of me holding me up during the contrx which now had no break in between. Sandra asked if I wanted to get in the pool and all I could say was 'I don't wanna get in too early... maybe you should check me first, I have something between my legs'..... at this point it gets a bit hairy and like something from a carry on movie!
Sandra and dh tried to help me get my undies off so she could see what was going on (she said later at this point her heart stopped thinking it could be the cord too as I seemed so sure there was a problem).... and she said instantly said that it wasn't the cord....' Carrie-Anne, thats the baby's head in a bag of water, it's going to burst any minute and the baby will come too!' It's as if she gave me permission and he literally started to come down as she said it!
She started firing questions at dh, 'wheres the birth box, where is the oxygen' etc and started running round the house. I was thinking that she looked pretty freaked out and I kept wanting to laugh but had started screaming REALLLLLLY loudly. In a matter of what must have been 2 minutes she had rolled the oxygen in whilst trying to reassure me that it was just in case, and had dragged a pile of stuff form the birth box. She sat down behind me and I kept trying to say to dh that I didn't want to stand up, it would be too fast but I was stuck dangling on to him and couldn't speak at all.
I felt a sudden thump like i had hit a brick wall or that my insides were falling out (will never ever be able to describe the horror of this moment!!) and his head crowned all in that first contrx of pushing. I had my hand between my legs somehow and could feel a huge balloon with his head inside. Then there was a surge and his head came out....... I started screaming (still had Ring Of Fire going through my head!) and Sandra was trying to pull her gloves on. (realised later that I didn't actually ever push! My body completely took over and I had no choice but to stand there and let him make his way down into the world.)I didn't know at the time she was trying to get the cord from round his neck. It was wrapped round twice and once round his body. She managed to unloop it once and he was suddenly born in one huge swoosh! It was 4.05am and he was pink instantly and screaming his wee head off!
We had a quick game of pass the parcel.. ie.. Sandra caught him and handed him to me through my legs and I thought I was going to fall over so handed him to dh who couldn't hold him as he had me to hold and Sonny was so slippery so handed him back to Sandra who then handed him back to me whilst trying to get some gunk off him and I handed him back to dh whilst I grabbed Sandra and got her covered in blood!..... was hilarious!!!
Amongst all this when I didn't even notice, Ramona the 2nd mw had arrived at the back door to see him crowning. I have no idea how Sandra managed to let her in whilst telling me that all was OK and to breathe. She was suddenly in action tidying up and poor Sandra looked like she had been run over by a bus and was pretty shocked herself.... 2 -3 mins to prepare isn't too long!! I was in shock..... completely!!!!!!! they managed to get me sat down as I started shaking like a leaf and had no idea what was going on. At some point during pass the parcel we had realised he was a boy! (which I actually knew from the scan 3 weeks ago but had managed to keep quiet! JUST!)
I waited 32 mins for the placenta to arrive. They had managed to wheel the gas and air through and as it was my 3rd the pains were horrific!!!!!! I was cuddled into Ramona muttering ' radical midwives!!!!! they don't tell you a physiological 3rd stage hurts this much!' (though giggling at the same time!!!)
(note from Angela - I don't know if there is any evidence that a physiological third stage is any more or less painful than a drug-induced one, but it does take longer, so maybe it is more noticeable. See The Third Stage for more on your options.).
They said there was a bit of the membranes missing (in fact STILL missing in action to this day!) possibly due to the fact that he was still actually in forewaters when he was being born.. if it hadn't been so fast he would probably have been born in the caul. Sonny started feeding so that made the pains worse but helped the placenta straight away. We cut the cord a few minutes before the placenta arrived and I got a fab lesson in placentas from Sandra!
I only lost 300mls of blood which was great as there was a question mark as to wether the huge fibroid I have would affect that. It didn't at all and seems to have shrunk back with the affects of the hormones. No tears apart form a wee graze!
We finally weighed him at about 5ish and he was 7lb 15oz and 54cms long... no wonder my ribs were sore! I managed to get dh to call the doula! (lolol....) she was devastated!!!! I had kept wanting to call her but the contrx were so fast that whenever I recovered from one there was another so I hadn't gotten that far! This was supposed to be her first birth!
Jarred (11) and Lola (2) slept through all the blood curdling screams and we got Jarred up about 5ish. He was instantly in love and we all cuddled up on the sofa. Sandra and Ramona were totally and utterly amazing!!!!! I was sooooo lucky to have had the both of them... they practiced midwifery in such a woman centred way that they were totally inspiring and I could never thank them enough really! Poor Ramona however started throwing up as she was 18 weeks pg and had severe morning sickness! We all had a cuppa and I went for a shower with Ramona and Sandra sat on the floor and had a good old gossip!
We tried to do the paperwork then and Sandra had to guess! We thought that 1st stage was prob about 40-50 mins so rounded to 55..... 2nd stage was prob about 2-3 mins so rounded to 5.... so rounded it all up to about an hour. 3rd stage a total of about 30 mins....
The mw's left at 6ish and my Mum called to say they were picking up brekkie... (my plan was get the whole family to visit asap then tell them all to stay clear for a few days.. would mean no complaints that they hadn't seen the baby!).... then Lola woke up. She came wandering through and was so gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!! She cuddled and stroked and hugged him for ages and then started calling him ELIJAH!!!!! That may have been our 2nd choice but do you think that even now she will call him Sonny!!! Noooooooooooooooo, looks like his nickname is Elijah then!
So that's pretty much it then, for now!!!
(okay after having to put up with bloody Johnny Cash that will be my last baby!)
Afterword:
I edited this story 12 weeks after as there were lots if things that became clearer in my head as time went on. I was really quite upset about the birth despite the comments of ' oh wow!!! that was fast! You are sooo lucky!' I felt that it was so fast I almost wasn't there. I had nightmares and flashbacks for a while and really found the whole thing rather disturbing. It was so different to what I had been expecting after the birth of my 2nd daughter. It reads as very manic....... because it was! (oh and as a footnote! I got an A for that essay I did whilst in labour!!!!.... strangely it was about midwifery!!!!)
Carrie-Anne Flexen
lolaflexen_abcde@btinternet.com
(Remove _abcde to get the correct email address)
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